In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
well you can't waste a boner
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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