And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
