They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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