It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
