meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
