Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We left an ass print on the piano.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
