My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize