I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
