i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
