he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
