You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
