Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
