so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
