Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
