I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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