similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
