now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
