So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
