We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize