Cold hands, warm shart.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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