We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Do vagina's smell?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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