we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
