That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
