there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
