I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
