I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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