forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
