No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
