spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I see more hoeing in ur future
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