If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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