do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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