I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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