You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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