We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
