Porn is love you can see.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
