bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
