Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
