you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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