There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
