But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize