Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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