They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
