I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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