You just made me feel so damn special
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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