You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how can u be prego again
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
