it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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