so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
