Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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