First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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