My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
