I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
