Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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