I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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