ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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