I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
there is glitter all over my balls
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