Three words: puerto rican gang bang
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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