The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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