I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
