I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Im part way to drunk.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
