Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
