Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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