Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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