Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
