Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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