If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
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