i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
When are your genitals available?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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