I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
