I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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