I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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