We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
