KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sex in the backyard? Check.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
