Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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