she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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